Some weeks or maybe months ago, my boss from Port Zero asked me to compose a small text about myself. Ohhhh did he know what type of trouble he just cause? Port Zero has a page about it’s employees.
Why is this a problem? Simple when there is one thing that’s hard, then it’s writing about yourself. Not that writing isn’t hard enough. The problem with such texts are, they are really difficult to get right. One point is to not undersell you, another point is not to sound like an arrogant prick. Many of the description of people often create a bizarre picture of them self. But maybe that’s my point of view? Anyway here a line that cause me headache:
Akendo is an specialist for IT-security
Here are some thoughts: Why I’m the specialist while all others not? It feels nasty and make me a bad impression. Another try:
Akendo is specialized in IT-Security.
Almost the same word, but this way it sounds more humble, I think.
What does this Team page help me?
One might be wonder why I write this? This topic has raised some question about my personal openness. The company website was made public in the last days. Witch left a odd feeling. Putting a website into the Internet, into the wild is one thing. But also the source? For everyone to judge and act on? Maybe it’s a good step forward.
I like to put some of my projects as also open source, but why wasn’t it done? A realisation came to mind. A notice that often I block myself from doing something. It gives me the impression that I I’m suffer from the “Einstellung problem”. In this case, the exposure of any information to the internet could lead an attacker to take advantage of this. However, this is leaving the fact out that there is none. But still, a feeling of anxiety arises, what when there will be an attacker? What….
Lost control about what’s going on…
The problem is so simple, as soon it’s in the internet it’s beyond control. I have similar feeling about writing for this blog. Now putting myself onto a website. Ouch….
But it’s progress! Moving on, instead of begin stuck to the feeling of anxiety. The real question is why shouldn’t anyone take a look at it? When they would ask me in person, I gladly would give them the information. But while being in the internet I’m hiding beneath the cover of privacy. But this is not who I’m. I have been always a open minded person, who believes that transparency is an important aspect of life. Showing who you are can help to improve both, the one that put himself to show and the other one that sees it.
Because of this anxiety, I need to write this texts! Only then progress will happen! Another feel that arises is a feeling of narcissism nature. Why must self-awareness hurt that much? But it’s not about the awareness. It’s about how to handle certain topic that are uncomfortable for someone. Most of the time we try to avoid them. We try not to do things that invokes a feeling of unwell. That’s the problem!
It’s fine to write about ones self. At times it’s necessary and helpful. It’s not narcissism, but a necessary reflection upon on self. That’s why it’s progress to do this. To open up. Sure they might be a risk implied, but does this risk out-weight the benefits?