Many years ago, I moved to my first flat for my schooling. This was in a different city and time. Hence, everything was new. The first few weeks weren’t good nor bad, just new. Caring for myself, getting used to a new environment and getting along on my own. I took time for learning and making homework.
After a while, I started to explore the city and started to make some friends. Some who weren’t directly related to my social environment. Then something bad happened and everything of broader self-care I’ve made vanished. I stopped doing my homework. I stopped caring more than I had to for myself.
But what in the world was it that caused you to stop caring for yourself, you might ask? It is simple: I started to have internet. With internet connection in the flat, I’ve started to be distracted by things. What kind of things? Gaming, watching TV shows and so on.
As many others, I was not really properly introduced to a first TV and later the computer. Eventually I was hooked to it and started to receive my instant gratification whenever I wanted to. It was that simple that you got used to it and stayed with it. In short, the problem with the internet started for me long before I moved.
It then became more than just a reward, it became my lifestyle. When I came home from basic school, the first thing was to turn on the TV. Beaten up by classmates and your teacher this was a way to cope with distress. Just let it pass me. It was a thing that I just did and once the TV became boring I moved to games.
And it got out of hand, and it became my coping mechanism for everything that felt difficult. My parents tried to regulate me. It was just that they were as bad with regulating me as with themselves. They did not provide the guidance a young boy needed. They were simply not home to prevent it. My friends were in that mess too. Gaming was everything for us.
But it is not that simple. At some point in my flat I’ve stopped to game because it became too invasive. I’ve stopped watching TV shows because it became predictive and boring. And then I replaced it with hacking. Or in short: with an excessive use of technology. Yet still with as little care for myself as for anyone else.
And I didn’t need anyone, but I was unhappy. I knew that there was more to life than this. But I wasn’t able to break free. This is because I’m an addict to technology.
We all are today. It is hard to pass by a day without a computer. It is everything, and it almost contains all of your life. Think about your smartphone, it is not just to call someone. It is a map, your camera, your notebook, your wallet.