The defining narrative
In this post[0], I wanted to think about feedback. While I was writing on it, I notice how I was slowly drifting. After a while, I decided to move this matter into a post of it its own. The topic is narrative[1].
Humans tend to create stories as a form of experience processing. It’s a beautiful mechanism of our brain. I think it relates to the capabilities to store memories long term. We tend to remember stories rather than the experience. The brain of a child can only start to make memories once it develops an understanding of language.
It might be related to the fact that our brain tries to ‘clean’ up unnecessary information and re-arrange stored experience in the form of a narrative. In short: the brain uses a story mechanism to simplify the perceived details and aspects of a moment and tries re-merge it with existing information for rapid access[2]. A leak of this means that we can not form clean memories of events.
Yet in these mechanisms for a narrative lies some danger, the danger of a defining narrative. To explain this in more detail: Someone tries to tell every moment of life through a fixated lens that puts information into a fitting narrative. The danger lies in the fact that this is happing without asking questions rather than this narrative representing reality or not. I think that depression might be an example of this.
In the worse case, the ‘why’ question is asked, but answer by the defining narrative without bothering to check if the underlying assumption is correct. Here the confirmation bias[3] comes into play that seeks out information to support only our narrative or worldview. These narratives tend to make us inflexible and stall, it implies a risk of halting our development.
You could see such a narrative as a way to model the world too. You not only try to explain the past but also to predict the future. Because once you let the narrative define your worldview, it will be the source of much pain. It relates to the situation when you are, confronted with an event or information that can’t be predicted by such a model of the world or even worse it contradicts it even. It will confront you with negative things and once we’re in the emotion of pain we lose our ability to think logically and that makes us prone to all sorts of wired arguing.
Suddenly we’re in a state of scarcity and discomfort and all that we’re trying is to restore the consistent worldview we had before. When in this pain we’re in fact confronted with uncertainty. We do not know what to expect and that cost mental capabilities we rather not like to spend.
The stronger a narrative is defined, the harder the contradict will be perceived by someone. That’s why people who are more ignorant tend to be happier, they just skip the unpleasant facts and continue on with their narrative disregard of reality. People like to have a consistent worldview.
Therefore, I think it’s important to keep a fresh mind to not become lock-in by a specific narrative. We need to keep learning and adapt to the needs of reality as it comes to not become isolated. That’s why it’s important to develop, the world is a moving target and so do we have to keep adapting to it.
Focusing on the why is more curtail than being in the right, but this is way more difficult than a defining narrative. This is what I’m trying to aim for in life. I try to ask why someone tends to disagree, why something is, and taking the time to listen. Why is the person not understanding my point or why this is a concern. This is hard and I’m failing often with it, but I eventually it will work someday.
So try to keep a fresh mind.
so far,
akendo
[0] https://blog.akendo.eu/post/2021-01-19-learning-mindset/
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_psychology
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias